Why David Zucchini is bad

Sheldon and I watched "The Nature of Things" the other night, and my world will never be the same.

That's right. I am now completely disillusioned about gazelles.

They're really dumb. This bothers me (actually, it also bothers me that it bothers me at all. [I don't want to work today, can you tell?]

So, all the other animals head to the river to cross to the lush grazing pasture on the other side: zebras, gazelles, thousands of wildebeest, you get the idea. The gazelles, my favorite to this point (largely due to the cute little sneezing noises they make) are the smallest animal there.

Said river is, naturally, teeming with 1 ton crocodiles.

Picture a biiiiig scaly body with a very big set of teeth on one end and you have the basic idea. Picture gazelle. Picture a label on this gazelle that says "Bite size snack".

Not only are gazelles the smallest, there are also the fewest of them. Now I know why.

The other animals all cross the river, taking casualties here and there. The stupid wildebeest trample themselves in the effort to cross the river which helps reduce their numbers by a couple dozen. Do the gazelles quietly cross upstream while all the madness goes on father down? NO. The gazelles are still on the wrong side of the river, waiting until the last possible minute, when the water is almost too high to cross before they try; naturally they are easy picking.

They're just lucky that the crocs have to buddy up to rip pieces off, otherwise they'd be extinct. Dumb ass little animals.