Round and round and round she goes...

I'm in that rut again. The one where I have an essay to finish, but instead I spend lots of time reading other books, and playing Suikoden 3 (which is pointless because I don't have saved copies of the first two games to carry over right now...) even though I know I have more important things to do. Then I get stressed because I'm too self-indulgent and I'm not focused enough. Then I worry that I'll fail, and I'll have to work at this job forever. At this point I usually have a little daydream about winning the lottery so that I can quit, and just go to school and travel and play all the games I want (in addition to everything else you think about when you imagine winning $30 million). Then I realize that I don't buy lottery tickets, so unless I find a winning ticket on the ground, in Surrey, on my walk home, I'm never going to win the lottery. Which brings back the stress, and the unfinished essay. But by this point my head is so cluttered that I couldn't concentrate even if I wanted to. So, I go to make some tea. Peppermint tea, or maybe green tea. I turn on the Playstation while I wait for the water to boil... Three hours, and five cups of regular caffeinated tea later, I'm now twitching like a crack-whore, and completely unable to type. Luckily, by this time, even if they're twitching, my hands are now almost permanently attached to the controller (it's a symbiotic relationship). Hours later, well past my bedtime, I fall asleep with the dim half-thought that there was something really important I needed to do. All the way to work the next morning I worry about the essay. I worry because I know that I'll want to play again when I get home. My Playstation is insidious. But just think, if I won the lottery...