Like Riding a Bicycle

There are so many things that you never really forget, number one on that list being:

Stalking.

I'm a good stalker. Mostly, I don't even know I'm doing it, that's how sneaky I am.

This is why I'm soooooo excited about Christian's recent announcement. OK, so it wasn't really an announcement, but it will be much easier to lust after someone who lives much closer. I've decided that I'm a good enough friend to admit that Miyuki was right. [Actually, joking aside, I totally missed this post she made, and having just discovered it I felt compelled to write, once I had stopped laughing enough to speak without sneeorting.]

Also, I just wanted to add that Miyuki is not trained in the arts of Swedish Massage. I am. I have the certificate to prove it. I think that should count for something...

Why David Zucchini is bad

Sheldon and I watched "The Nature of Things" the other night, and my world will never be the same.

That's right. I am now completely disillusioned about gazelles.

They're really dumb. This bothers me (actually, it also bothers me that it bothers me at all. [I don't want to work today, can you tell?]

So, all the other animals head to the river to cross to the lush grazing pasture on the other side: zebras, gazelles, thousands of wildebeest, you get the idea. The gazelles, my favorite to this point (largely due to the cute little sneezing noises they make) are the smallest animal there.

Said river is, naturally, teeming with 1 ton crocodiles.

Picture a biiiiig scaly body with a very big set of teeth on one end and you have the basic idea. Picture gazelle. Picture a label on this gazelle that says "Bite size snack".

Not only are gazelles the smallest, there are also the fewest of them. Now I know why.

The other animals all cross the river, taking casualties here and there. The stupid wildebeest trample themselves in the effort to cross the river which helps reduce their numbers by a couple dozen. Do the gazelles quietly cross upstream while all the madness goes on father down? NO. The gazelles are still on the wrong side of the river, waiting until the last possible minute, when the water is almost too high to cross before they try; naturally they are easy picking.

They're just lucky that the crocs have to buddy up to rip pieces off, otherwise they'd be extinct. Dumb ass little animals.

In the News, Again?

I don't know if anyone has noticed, but hearkening back to a previous post (was that a word?) there is now a big movement in the US all about banning trans fats.

Yep, they've jumped on the crazy bandwagon. Big surprise.

Even stranger, however, is this article I found, it's old, but still the idea seems wrong somehow.

Oreo's are a part of childhood like those rocket popsicles (you know the one's I mean, they were blue and white and red, and we used to run out to those ice cream trucks to be the first kid on the block with a sticky popsicle face).

Anyway, like I said before, banning trans fats is a good idea in theory, but impossible to actually carry out. I mean, really, are we going to start throwing kids in jail for dealing twinkies and ho-ho's out of their lockers? On the other hand, I bet you that a few enterprising Canadians could make a killing (heh heh) bootlegging Mr. Christies stuff... Maybe I should start stocking up, just in case.

All the News

Not that anyone still reads this, but in the off chance that you are interested:

1) I am finally a university graduate.

2) With any luck I will also be an RMT by December 2006. (While it may be tempting, I will pre-empt the rub-n'-tug jokes by stating that my services will not be *that* friendly.)